


The Time Jim Forgot

by sterlingvayl



Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Amnesia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-05
Updated: 2014-04-29
Packaged: 2018-01-18 05:46:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1417315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sterlingvayl/pseuds/sterlingvayl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A mission goes horribly wrong, leaving Jim with no memories of anything but Iowa and his childhood.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Lost

“Tell McCoy we are coming,” The man with the pointy ears and green skin ordered the man in the red shirt as he pulled Jim down the hallway.   
“Who are you? Where are we going?” Jim asked as he was pulled down a hallway past people in red, blue, and gold shirts, “Where are we?”  
The man pulling him did not answer, he just shot a look over his shoulder. Doors snicked open and they were met with a very concerned man in blue.   
“Spock you’re going to rip his arm off.” The man in blue said and for the first time since getting on the ship the pointy eared one wasn’t touching him. “What happened?”  
“We were attacked and he was knocked out. When he came to he had no memory of the mission.”  
“What’s your name?” The man in blue who had a southern accent, not to be confused with the man who had pointy ears who was also in blue, asked turning to look at Jim for the first time sweeping a circular whirring thing over his body.  
“Jim Kirk,” he responded eyeing the thing nervously  
“Where are you?”  
“I was hoping you would know,”  
“It appears as if the captain’s hippocampus has been damaged. I will have to do more tests.”  
The man with the pointy ears titled his head to the side, his eyes looking so sad, “Is there anything you can do about the amnesia?”  
“We have to wait until the swelling goes down and hope it is temporary,” the man with the southern accent slipped his hand into the pointy ear’s.  
“Where are we?”  
“We are aboard the USS Enterprise, your ship.” The one with the southern accent answered.  
“I have a ship? How did I get that?”  
“You are the best captain.” The pointy ear one replied.  
“May I ask who you are?”   
This question cased the one with the southern accent to burst into tears. The pointy ear one pulled the now crying one into an embrace.   
“I am Spock,” The pointy eared one said, “This is Leonard. We are your husbands,” He pulled out a chain from under his shirt with a plain gold ring on it and Jim realized that he was wearing a matching chain.  
Jim tried to remember. He really did. But nothing came up except for some fuzzy memories of Iowa and his youth. There was nothing there about the two men who were standing in front of him.   
“I am sorry I don’t- I don’t- I can’t-I- why can’t I remember you?” Jim wailed.   
“You have damaged your hippocampus Jim. You have retrograde amnesia and have lost a good portion of your memories.”   
“Will they come back? My memories?”  
“Only time will tell T’hy’la, only time will tell,” Spock said looking at Jim with the saddest eyes, rubbing his hand up and down Leonard’s back.


	2. Tales Told

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spock fills Jim in on what he is forgetting

Jim looked between the two men in front of him. One was openly weeping and the other one was just staring at him with the saddest eyes he had ever seen.  
The one with sad eyes, Spock, had said that they were his husbands, however Jim had no memory of them.  
Finally the crying man, Leonard, stopped.  
“I’m sorry,” he sniffed smoothing Spock’s shirt, “I so sorry darlin’. I’m gonna find a cure for this, Jim, just you watch,”  
With that he walked out of the room with a determined set of his jaw and a swish of the doors.  
“I will show you to your quarters captain,” Spock with his sad eyes said leading out of the med bay and into the corridor.  
Jim followed the pointy eared man to a very sterol cabin. There were no personal touches, nothing that made it look like someone lived there.  
“This isn’t where I usually sleep, is it?” Jim stated looking at the perfectly clean surfaces.  
“No, but I figured that until your memories returned you would prefer to sleep by yourself in your own rooms.”  
“Very thoughtful Spock but I would like to see my normal quarters,” Jim felt as if the most vital part of him had been ripped out of his chest and was dangling just out of reach, if only he could remember.  
Spock led the way to the end of the hall, every person they passed sent the duo a sympathetic glance. At the end of the hall, they entered another room.  
The air was hot and dry. The desk was covered in PADDs and files, a 3D chess set sat in a corner next to a lute type interment. Medical Journals were next to Scientific Papers and star charts were tucked into history books. A mess of the three men that lived there.  
There was only one photograph in the entire room. Hanging up dead centre on the wall behind the desk. Three men in dress uniforms underneath a willow, all looking unbelievably happy, even though one of them wasn’t smiling, and all holding hands.  
“Was this our- our-“Jim faltered at the thought of all that he had lost.  
“Wedding day? Yes Jim. The happiest day of my life,” Spock said softly from behind him. “You spent the entire reception trying to convince Leonard and me that we should initiate intercourse in the coat closet.”  
Jim let out a watery laugh that did sound like him.  
“All three of our mothers wailed in the front row as we said ‘I do’ on the McCoy’s farm in Georgia. Your father looked so proud. Mine told me that I had made a good choice in picking my mates”  
“McCoy?” Jim felt hollow because he knew that name should mean something to him, it should mean the world and yet all he could come up with was blackness.  
“Leonard”  
“Oh”  
“Three weeks later we had a smaller ceremony on Vulcan, You looked greener than I did that day. We were so nervous, we battled the universe and won but this this bonding scared you and McCoy spit less, if I hadn’t insisted on it would have never happened and you went through with it because for some reason, you both loved me.  
It was the first three way bond in the history of my race. T’Pau was dead set against it but I insisted. We were afraid that it wasn’t going to work, because it was the first bond of its  nature as well as the fact that there wasn’t a full blooded Vulcan among us. But it was all worth it, the uncertainty, the trouble with training you and Leonard to close the bond, the constant observation for a week after, all worth it. Because, in the end, I am bonded to the two greatest men in the galaxy. And wouldn’t change a thing. Even if it wasn’t very logical.”  
Jim was crying, tears dripping silently down his face. He heard the love that Spock was projecting and it felt like his heart was being slowly ripped out of his chest.

With all the talk of bonding he now knew that most of this desperation was coming from Leonard and Spock but it didn’t help. It didn’t stop the urge to punch the picture to spite the man that he had been before this, the one with loving husbands and a family that would come to his wedding. He must have mended those bridges because the mother and father he remembered had been too concerned with their own careers to deal with him and his brother once they were old enough to be left by themselves for extended periods of time.  
“Where was Sam?” he asked, his voice small.  
“I am sorry to inform you that your brother and his wife died on Deneva nearly three years ago. His youngest, Peter, is living with your mother back on earth.”  
“Oh,” Jim had so many more questions, but he was terrified of the answers. He did not want to know what he was missing, he did not want to know what had transpired because all it did was make him ache for the memories back and wish for ignorance at the same time.  
“I think that is enough story time for now Spock,” he whispered, wiping tears from his from his face, “I think I need some time to take this all in. I will head back to the quarters you first showed me.”  
“Do you need me to take you back?”  
“It’s just down the hall, I’m sure I can find my way,”  
He left the room without a glance at the Vulcan, tears making their way down his face no matter how hard he tried to stop them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am trash it is super sad. It does get better I promise.


	3. Remembrances

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nightmares and cuddles

Jim’s heart beat out of his chest as he stared into the cold brown eyes of the man in front of him.   
“I saved you for a reason Jim Kirk. You will be a great leader one day. I can see that in you, in your resemblance to myself when I was your age.   
“You are so determined to help others, to care. I know you have been giving your rations to the other children. I think you think you are doing the right thing, but soon you will find out that the only who matters is you. Because you are stronger and better than they are.”  
Kodo’s pushed the plate of pastries forward.   
“Now eat” he made it sound like an invitation not an order.  
The smell and sight of the delicacies made Jim’s stomach churn. After living on barely enough rice and protein nibs to get by, the thought of something so sweet was enough to make him nauseous.   
“No thank you sir, I am not hungry.”  
“Liar. Eat.”   
~  
Jim woke up. Stomach heaving he rushed to the bathroom and emptied himself of everything he had ever eaten, trying to push the memories away.   
Drenched in sweat and shaking, he stripped and got in the shower. Letting the cold water wash away the memories.   
In a pair of pajama bottoms, he walked back into bedroom. Only wanting to climb into the bed and try to forget.   
He was shocked to find that some else was already there.  
The man, Leonard, was leaning against the headboard ankles crossed, a cup of tea on the bedside table next to him.  
“What are you doing here?”  
“I know about Taurus Jim. I know about the nightmares and, as your doctor, my prescription is a cup of tea and-“Leonard stopped mid-sentence, turning bright red.  
“And what?”  
“Spock and I shower you with kisses and tell you how proud we are and list all of your virtues. But since you cannot remember any feeling you have for us that would probably do more harm than good. So I will just leave you with the cup of tea and say good night.” He got up from the bed and walked towards the door.  
“Don’t go,” Jim whispered crawling into the bed. “Don’t leave me here alone,” Even though he had no recollection of the man, he could not stay alone with these memories.  
“Darlin’ I will never leave you as long as you want me.”  
Those words pushed Jim over the edge. Tears began to fall fast and thick, as the pain of the last twenty four hours washed over him.   
He had people calling him captain and two men who loved him dearly. They all looked at him with such respect.   
There was nothing he could remember doing to earn it.   
He felt Leonard pull him into his lap and whisper soothing things into Jim’s hair.  
The sobs wracked him and every breath hurts. But eventually they fade, leaving Jim is lying in Leonard’s arms making these odd hiccuping noises.  
“I just wish that I knew what was going on. I just want everything to be normal and I don’t even remember what that is.” Jim finally whispered settling so that his head was nestled right above Leonard's heart and the rest of him was against the doctor's side.  
“You want me to tell you?” Leonard asked and Jim nodded into his chest, “A normal day in the life of James Tiberius Kirk, starts off with waking up tangled between Spock and me and grumbling about how cold it is, even though the room is warm enough that we could be on Vulcan and notice a change in temperature, and how much you don’t want to get out of bed. But eventually you do and then drink about six cups of coffee which horrible for your health to start the day off with that much caffeine.  
“When there are no orders from Starfleet and no worlds to explore you go to every station and make sure that everything is running smoothly and that the officers have everything they need and just talking to them. You like to know about the people under your command.   
“You have this alarm set up so that anytime there is a birthday you can sing to them. Every single one of them.   
“If there are orders from Starfleet you are up at the bridge fulfilling your orders and making sure that we get there safely. On missions you and Spock and a few others beam down to the planet and try to obey the prime directive but often times you fail and then we have to go to some drastic measures to get all of you back in one piece.”  
“If I am the captain why do I beam down? Would it not make sense to stay up here and observe?”  
“I've been trying to tell you that for years but you insist that you cannot send men some place that you would not go yourself.  
“When you get off duty, you head back to our quarters and either finish up paperwork or ] read one of the paper books in your collection that you are so proud of or play a game of chess with Spock . You always loose but you are getting better but nothing can beat that computer of a man. Sometimes you convince us that we all need to do a movie night and that always ends with us sitting there watching either Les Miserables or Frozen because you are a child who always turns down new movie ideas and only wants to watch his favourites.   
“Then we go to bed and get all tangled up and the cycle repeats itself.”  
Jim stayed quiet for a long time. His breathing evened out and Leonard thought that he was asleep.   
“Thank you for staying,” Jim breathed.  
“Darlin’ I made you a promise. In sickness and in health. Just because you can’t remember doesn’t change that. I love you in every universe and in any way you will let me.”  
Jim stayed quite. What had he done to earn such devotion?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this is better than the last one


	4. Found

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The happy ending you have all been waiting for

Two weeks past with Jim in this limbo, he could remember Taurus and Iowa but anything later than that was gone.  
He spent most of his time in Med Bay with Leonard. Leonard talked while he worked. Telling Jim exactly what he was doing at all times. He talked about what was going on with the crew and the ship. Not that Jim knew any of the people but it was nice. The doctor had the most soothing voice and Jim could just listen to him talk for hours.  
A blonde woman named Christine was always in med bay with them. Following orders and giving feedback on everything the doctor did.  
They tried everything.  
From memory recall to hypnosis to exercise and they ran very test over and over again.  
Nothing worked.  
When the clinic became too claustrophobic he would go to one of the least used observation decks and stare at the stars.  
Whenever he had had a fight with his mother when was little he had run out into the fields and waited till the stars filled the sky and watched them until it became too cold or Sam came out and brought him back in. He always used to picture his father up there, imaging how much greater life must be in space. It had to be amazing up there for him to leave his family for extended periods of time only coming back for a couple weeks of shore leave.  
They were a connection to his family. No matter where they were in the galaxy the stars would always be shining.  
Jim was never on the observation deck alone for long before Spock joined him. Spock would not say anything just sit next to him in silence. Sometimes he would provide history of the quadrant, but most of the time he was quiet.  
It was during one of these quiet moments that Leonard commed them.  
“Both of you get down to med bay, pronto.”  
“On our way Doctor,” Spock replied.  
When they got to med bay Leonard was bouncing on the balls of his feet with the biggest grin on his face.  
“I think I found. I won’t know for sure until we try it but I think it will work. I think it will repair the pathways that have been damaged and return your memories Jim.”  
“Then let’s try it Leonard.” Jim said sitting on the end of a bio-bed.  
One by one a series of six hypos were injected into Jim’s neck.  
“I feel funny,” he said before passing out.  
When he came to both Spock and Bones were looking down at him with concern plastered on their faces.  
“It was just a knock on the head, Bones nothing that hasn't happened before. Just give me a clean bill of health so I can get back to work, you can worry about me later.” Jim said as he sat up.  
“Jim what do you remember?”  
“We were on an away mission-“ he trailed off as memories filtered in of the past two weeks.  
“I-I-I’m so sorry for all I put you through,” he whispered as he remembered the stories that Spock had told him and the way that Bones had held him as he had cried. The love that both of these men had given him when he hadn't remembered them. “I do not deserve you,” He mumbled pulling them both in for a hug tears streaming down his face and placing sloppy kisses on their cheeks.  
“I am glad you are back Jim.” Chocked out Bones, crying nearly as much as the captain.  
“It is illogical to think that we would abandon you when you are at your weakest. We vowed to be with you forever.”  
These words just made Jim sob harder and Spock simply comforted his two highly illogical husbands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long. Hope it lives up to expectations.


End file.
